What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
12.06.2025 00:00

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”
After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.
Why do men cheat on their wives with someone extremely unattractive?
In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
What does it mean to you to live a life that reflects biblical values?
Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.
Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority
Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
Shameless vixen! Trollop!
Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
What are some important works of Marcel Proust (novelist)?
Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.
Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.
And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.
What are the most extreme examples of hypocrisy?
Make Nazis afraid again!
Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.
Why do only ugly women like me on Tinder? Is it because I'm an ugly man?
Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
At least until the peyote kicks in ...
TEXT:
Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.
And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.